Revolutionizing the Resolution

I can't say that I began 2009 on the best foot. It was a barefoot, firstly, at a bar, secondly, and when I woke up at home a few hours later without a cellphone or wallet, I decided it was necessary that I make some New Years Resolutions. The only problem was that I don't really do resolutions. I mean, of course I try, but to some my vows may verge on impossible. Let's see if we arrive at a common conclusion at the bottom of my proposed "resolution list:"

1. Finish a completed working draft of my first book, to be titled BEEP, and to be in a form to send to agents.
2. Meet, date, and become engaged to someone.
3. Professionally pursue improv and stand-up comedy.

As of March 11th, 2009 here is my progress:
1a. Beep learned how to sit! And sit pretty! And we've gotten really good and snuggling and definitely playing fetch, because, like, now she knows when is playtime and when is not-playtime. Oh, is that not the same as writing a book?
2a. If you or anyone you know would be willing to go on a date with me, please leave a comment at the bottom of this post. There are nine months left in the year.
3a. At the end of this blog you can let me know if it's worth it.

So, let's ponder:
1b. Maybe instead of resolving to write a book ABOUT Beep I should resolve to actually train her.
2b. Rome wasn't built in a day. And I refuse to online date.
3b. A blog-post-a-month probably isn't going to get me agented.

The obvious problem here is aspiration. Ambition: good, yes, but too much of it can lead to not really doing anything. We all know people who fathom the kind of plans which make Obama's job seem simple. But how many of them actually follow through? I suspect that if more did, the "I can't believe you set your mind to something and did it" compliment wouldn't hold much significance. There's a reason why "babysteps" mean something. It's how people as a whole ever get anywhere. Sure, there are the revolutionaries who use ungodly persuasion to push masses in one direction, but for the rest of us, it might take years to truly get someplace. If too much changes too fast, the newness will never be normalized, and thus after a certain amount of time, "things" will go back to the old "normal," with whatever had changed categorized as a cultural or social "phase." I think we dub that a "trend."

I'm about to do something I rarely do, which is give credit to someone or something else. But as 2009 gets fully underway, I've decided to revise the resolution. Or at least my resolutions. Less big-picture thinking and more little, specific-picture thinking. And who knew - Horny Toad - you know that chic -meets-outdoorsy clothing line based in Santa Barbara, CA (Think fitted t-shirts with small-but-poignant images on the front) - has the answer:

'9 in 09' is their movement to ignite that sort of "babystep" change cataclysmic for revolutions. Basically, all you do is choose one thing (one tiny thing) that is green-based. Examples - eliminate a car ride a week, or plastic bags from grocery stores, or buy locally, or notably "hippier" acts like planting a tree or introducing someone to the outdoors by taking them on a hike. I can do this. Fine, living in New York makes it cheating if I resolve to "eliminate a car ride a week," but buying only local food is both feasible and not yet a habit.

I think, ultimately, Horny Toad is doing what more "green-oriented" organizations need to: encompass the babystep idea and making sure "green" isn't a trend, but a revolution. What's more, they're willing to bribe us avid-consumers. If you share your resolution with them (http://www.hornytoad.com/community/nine-in-09.html), you might win free stuff (namely gift certificates drawn bi-monthly on the 9th and 19th, and then a thousand buck certificate at the end). So, the resolution can be part of the revolution, versus part of the trend.

Another reason why I like the '9 in 09' campaign is that it doesn't encroach on my lifestyle or beliefs. They only ask that you start bringing your own bags to the market, not that you stop filling them with wine and beer and the kind of snacks you'd deny eating even if you were under oath.

A cynic may view this change of heart as the ultimate defeat. No, I'm not writing a book. Yes, I'm still sleeping alone. No, I'm not really as funny as those people on TV. But dammit I will jump in front of a bus before I go grocery shopping without a cloth bag again. So take that, 2009.